SIX YEARS AWAY FROM MY BIRTH PLACE HAS FINALLY COME TO AN END
? ? ? My name is Marshall Dkhar, from India, a 2012 batch M.B.B.S student at Southern Medical University, Guangzhou, China. My elder brother suggested me to study in China so with the help of an agency company, Saraswati Online.com India Ltd. I came to Guangzhou, China in 2012 as a foreign student.
? ? ? ? So, SIX YEARS AWAY FROM MY BIRTHPLACE HAS FINALLY COME TO AN END is an article about my life experiences in China.? Life is a series of new beginnings. We are always proceeding through life focused on one goal. When we were little, it was to put anything and everything that we could possibly find into our mouths. Later, we managed to put one wobbly leg in front of the other. When we were experts at that and getting into all sorts of trouble, we moved on to kindergarten. That is when it all began our long journey that would lead us to today.
? ? ? ? ? I was just a kid. Well, at least to my parents. Leaving home to go to a faraway place, away from my family and friends but unexpectedly, because at this time in my simple mind as someone who would never look at the internet first before any of my trips, China is still a place with full of ancient heritage everywhere, ancient buildings and people dressing in ancient cloths like I used to see in the Chinese movies I had seen before. I was surprised to see that this present China is not the China that existed in my mind before I came here. So, from the first few days after arriving here in Guangzhou, China, I felt that this place was for me. I was not homesick not the slightest bit. Before landing at Baiyun airport, Guangzhou, on 11th December 2012 early morning from an altitude of about 1000ft in the clouds through a little glassed window of the aeroplane I could see Guangzhou city, its beauty and greenish landscape full of trees; I liked this city from the first glance.
? ? ? ? ? Arriving at my university, Southern Medical University, on a cold early morning I was amazed by the height and size of our dormitory and gazing at this fourteen storeys building that I will be staying for the next five years, its red and white colour stripes reminds me of a game called Jenga. We were well received by our senior fellow students and supervisors. Putting our heavy luggage down in our new room of two students each in this Jenga building, without anytime to settle down, we had to go to the bank and then the market place to buy all our necessaries preparing us for the stay in our new home five years to go. On any journey, we usually remember the first day clearly, I too remember my first day in China very clearly and it feels like it was just yesterday but I would rather not mention some of the experiences I had on that day. Now, you would be thinking that why should you continue reading this article if the author is going to keep his experiences in suspense but I promise you that I will try to write in the most honest manners. However, there are some experiences you ought to keep to yourselves.
? ? ? ? ? ? Moving on, from the first day to days, days to weeks, weeks to months, and months to years of living here almost everything was going fine smoothly without any serious difficulties, hardships, sickness, pains and sufferings except when I was in my third year, just in the beginning of the first semester of third year, I received a phone call from my elder brother back home at about six o’clock in the morning telling me the news that I don’t wish for any of you, that my father had passed away!. I was so shocked and overwhelmed by that terrible news I was emotionally paralysed. Hurriedly packed a few things and with the help of my friends I went to the airport heavy hearted to go home for my father’s funeral. That was the only time I went home since I landed in China and coming back to China from a ten days trip back home for my father’s funeral I dreamed about him almost every night for about two months. Those dreams helped and brought comfort to me in a way that I feel him close to me as if he was still alive and well at home. So, apart from that experience, my life in China was good. Though I am far away from home yet it feels like home, so sound, so safe, so convenient and what is more are the Chinese people here are so kind and friendly which makes my six years staying here worthwhile. Despite the language barriers and cultural differences I made friends with many amazing Chinese boys and girls, men and women inside and outside of the university campus who have helped me a lot in many ways and I would always be grateful to them. Life in China is full of surprises and fun, it never gets bored once stepping out of the room. Time in Guangzhou, a city of opportunities, flies so fast. Four months of classes, exams and then about two months of winter or summer vacation every year seemed to finish so fast. Like Albert Einstein once said, “put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour and it seems like a minute.” That is what happens when life is good.
? ? ? ? As days passed by, I realized that here I could stay awake all night long without a single uncontrollable nod of my head or as my mom calls it “fishing”. Staying up late at night became normal. So, sleeping time changed from 10-11PM back home to 1-2AM here. Eating time changed from three meals a day to two meals a day that is lunch and dinner without breakfast. Breakfast has become very rare like trees in a dessert. Other changes I noticed in me and around me while living in China were that I was constantly learning Mandarin and also unlearning a language I learned before. My brain regularly shuts the door on certain vocabulary words of the previous language that I had learn, Hindi. When I try to speak Hindi now, Mandarin would come out of my tongue instead. No! I am not trying to be pretentious and passively brag about the fact that I am confusing two languages, thereby pointing out that now I know one more language, Mandarin. Also, conversion and exchange rates are always on the mind though it was more of a concern in the first two years of staying here where I would put a rate converting APP on my PC desktop. When buying something, my mind would quickly calculate the exchange rate and most often I would feel that the price here is cheaper but instead it’s the opposite. Another interesting change that I noticed was that the line between normal and strange has blurred a bit. Every culture has its clear distinctions on what’s acceptable and what’s not. However, to the outsider coming in who brings with us a set of different, but still clearly marked, cultural “dos and don’ts”, it can cause quite the clash of viewpoints. For instance, here it’s okay to burp or clear your throat with a lump of sputum released and spit on the floor publicly. Baby wearing open-buttock pants. Chopstick instead of spoons and soup is directly taken by bringing the bowl to the mouth. Refusing a few times before accepting foods, drinks or gifts is a sign of being polite. Using the second name first, as Chinese prefer to be addressed by their second name or family name. Bowing the head and a smile is enough to greet someone instead of a handshake or a hug. When receiving a gift, Chinese people use both hands since it is consider more respectful and polite. The numerical numbers here have their respective meanings here. 0, 1, 5 mean neutral. 2, 3, 6, 8, 9 mean lucky and 4 is consider unlucky as it is pronounce as 死 which means ‘death’. Fingers gesture for numbering is very useful in the markets.
? ? ? ? ? So, those are some of the cultural differences that I have encounter. At first I thought they were strange but as time goes by, I would get used to them. After staying here for almost six years now I have even adopt a few new habits, experiences and things which I did not have before living here. I shall collect some of them and share them with you because I think they have been a positive change for me. Such as, now I have a Chinese name, 达和. Have a Chinese keyboard on my phone. Politely cover my mouth with one hand or tissue paper while using a toothpick. Drinking a lot of water since washrooms are present everywhere. Using ‘WeChat’ for payments, phone calls, chatting and many other important features available. Surprised and dismayed by how little the world knows about China. Understand much better the importance of family and friends to a happy life. Celebrating two new years’ day and two valentine’s day. Stare briefly at anyone who doesn’t appear to be Chinese on buses or metros. Offer my seat to elders on buses and subways. Drink green tea regularly. Understand that punctuality is actually a good habit. Last but not the least, watching football with Chinese commentary and also playing seven people aside’s football.
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? On 24th November 2013 I had my first birthday cake ever and celebrated my birthday for the first time. Yes! Back home birthdays don’t get much attention. I even used to forget my own birthday until I came to China and stay in a dormitory with friends who would gladly remind me about my birthday for several reasons. Summer in Guangzhou is usually very hot so we used to playfully fight with water, chasing and splashing water on each others. One time the water fight got so crazy that my roommate’s laptop got an unwanted shower and spoiled with some buckets broke. Studying in the dormitory room was difficult to manage as there are many friends going in and out so library and classrooms were the best places to study. Our university, SMU organize different activities yearly for the students whereas I would participate in football tournaments to represent my batch, 2012 batch. In the first tournament we had a really good team with so much enthusiasm, energy, passion and motivation yet we didn’t win the competition. In the following four years also we had the same team, same enthusiasm, energy, passion, motivation and trainings but we still did not win it. Finally, we accept that sometimes something in life is just not meant to be for you no matter how hard you try. While I never won any tournaments with my batch mates, I did win other football tournaments that I played outside of my university with my foreign and Chinese friends who are not students. Football has been providing opportunities for me to know more and more friends in the university as well as outside of university. For the past five years I have played almost every week in different places in Guangzhou and I had the chances to represent my university in few tournaments but the one that stands out for me was the one I played in Meizhou, which was a well sponsored tournament by the international youths football association of China that gave me a totally different level of excitement, preparations and satisfaction. Before coming to China, I expected Kong Fu to be omnipresent. However, upon arriving here, I noticed that football is in fact the most popular sport in China now and it is growing at an amazing pace at national level and domestic level as well. Being a country with investment more and more on football, there are multiple football grounds available for civilians and multiple tournaments that people can participate. I was fortunate enough to have come to such a place as China and have been able to enjoy playing a sport that I love on good conditions. However, recently towards the end of my stay here, I got knee injury while playing in a friendly match. Before the injury I was preparing and hoping that I would be playing my last two tournaments in China but my wish didn’t come true. Anyway, I am thankful for all the games that I have played here and enjoyed to the fullest.
? ? ? ? ? ? Staying in China for a long time and not going to see The Great Wall of China is something that needs a genuine excuse or reason. I went to Beijing during winter vacation in my second year of staying here. It was an amazing trip and seeing The Great Wall of China stretches to such a length made me wonder how incredibly it was build. It is simply extraordinary. Besides Beijing I also had the opportunity to go to other places such as Sichuan, Shenzhen, Tianjin, Qingyuan, Zhaoqing and Meizhou. After travelling to other places, staying in Guangzhou itself and making Chinese friends from many different provinces, I came to know that not all Chinese speaks Mandarin. Many regions have their own dialect which sounds very different from one another just like in my country, India. Also, there are multiple ethnic groups populate China, Han-Chinese being the majority.
? ? ? ? ? ? ? Before coming to China I did not expect to find a Christian church here but I did. There are a number of them. So, another bonus that I would add to the positive experiences I had in China was my spiritual growth. Even though, I was born to a Christian family I had little understanding about my faith and my knowledge about Christianity. On several occasions my Chinese friends who are eager to know more about me, would ask questions about my belief. Usually, I had no answer except that I was born into it. I was asked again about my faith by someone who I was dating at that time. It struck me and I started to ask myself with a bunch of questions such as, ‘Is there really a God?’ Is Christianity really the truth?’ ‘Did Jesus really lived, died and resurrected?’ How did the universe and life come about? is it really because of the big bang? and evolution?; If the answer is the big bang and evolution then why many well educated people, even some brilliant scientists believe in a supreme Being who is in Heaven?’. I also wondered about the meaning of my life and my existence. Is it really simply to grow up, get educations, get a job, enjoy life while I still can, get married, be a father, possibly a grandfather too and then one-day disappear into nothingness? So, I would ask myself these questions and I looked seriously for several months about the issues of these big questions by watching debates by some of the best apologists and professors of our generation, researching, studying and analysing the reasons, evidences and proofs. After almost a year of looking, studying and analysing the reasons, evidences and proofs, I came to know the answers to all those questions. So, my Chinese friends by triggering me to think about my belief and faith played a big role in my spiritual life as well. Everything happens for a reason.
? ? ? ? ? ? As my time to leave this wonderful place is approaching to an end, I can only imagine that time would be slowing down. I will be graduating soon and get my MBBS degree. It would be the happiest day of my life in China but I doubt it would be because my father won’t be able to see me as a graduate. He always wished to have a son or a daughter to be a doctor but when I finally will be one soon, he won’t be there to see that. Oh! How proud he would be and how happier I would be to see the smile on his face.?
? ? ? ? ? ? Looking back at my life here, the people I have met here who have become my friends and like my family, I can proudly say that China has become my second home. Hence, its people will stay close to my heart forever. I would also like to say that I am very grateful to my family back home that supports me constantly, allowing me to come to this great country and to experience this wonderful journey of my life. Six years away from my birthplace has finally come to an end but if I could turn back times I would live through these years again.?
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